Holy Fatigue Batman!

I have definitely noticed a correlation between the dieting and fatigue.  Im EXHAUSTED.  I dont know if its confounded by the breastfeeding but Im sure that it is.  To add, I had an extremely active weekend with the kiddos…which leads me to think about the burdon of extra weight.  I did a hike with my 16 pound daughter on my back and it was exhausting.  I thought about the amount of weight that I have to loose - about 40 pounds - and I wonder how this might be tiring me out.  After all its like carrying a grade schooler around on one’s body - no?  If not for anything else, I must loose this weight so that I can keep up.  I like being active (not in the stairmaster type of way - but rather in the ‘lets go for a 3 hour hike” type of way) and I want to do these things without feeling like Ive been hit by a bus.  More motivation in my pocket…

Weekends are Challenging

I find it SOO hard to keep track of what I eat on the weekends.  I also find that I am the leftover receptical for the food that my son doesnt eat.  Yikes!  I REALLY have to stop that. 

If Not Now Then When?

Upon hearing that I have embarked on a weight loss journey, I had a very close friend of mine remark “Why would you do that to yourself now with all of this other stuff going on?” I trust that she said this out of the kindness of her heart but its precisely that kind of thinking that has kept me from loosing weight.  After my son was born, I didnt try to loose weight because I didnt want to compromise the breastfeeding relationship.  Then we moved to the States and things were too turbulent to start, then my ailing brother came to stay with me, then he died, etc etc.  Yeah I have a ‘lot going on’, but who doesnt?  The stress from work ebbs anf flows, my son’s epilepsy isnt going away and yeah I have a baby but I really need to do this now.  I know that I get cranky when I try to loose weight but hopefully I can try to manage that.  I think if I cut out the caffiene, that might help.

 On a different but not entirely unrelated note, I bought these sexy tie up socks from Sock Therapy.  I wore them today even though Im wearing pants and I feel great.  (How can a piece of clothing make one feel great and isnt that so superficial?)  When anthropologists study humans the world around, they find so many commonalities between cultures.  One of these commonalities is vanity.  We’re a vain species and Im no exception.  I love wearing super fashionable clothes and to be brutally honest, its one of my main motivators for loosing weight.  Of course I want to be healthy (or rather stay healthy because  I feel pretty good but I know Im getting to the age when shit starts breaking down), and to be able to do any activity without feeling like a truck hit me.  However I really just want to be able to wear skinny jeans and a nice peasant top. LOL!

So now is the time.  Not tomorrow, not next year, not when ‘things settle down’.  “Life is what is happening when youre busy making other plans”.  Carpe Diem!

Accepting Overweight Status

What a wakeup call did I get when I signed up to this site and they asked about my goal.  Initially I had put my goal as 7 llbs heavier than what it is now.  However it showed that I was still above the recommended BMI.  How did I get here (that is how do I accept larger BMIs as acceptable and how on earth did I become so overweight?)?  I used to be a long distance runner who was horrified when I was over 130llb (because it slowed me down).  Yeah I know, pregnancy, back problems, work stress, insert more excuses here.  I ‘accepted’ the weight (which is healthy for a positive self image - isnt it?).  What a fine line between having a positive self image while trying to achieve a healthier weight. 

Food and emotional health

Yesterday was only day 3 of the diet and I coincidentally (?) felt pretty anxious and somewhat sad.  Im not sure if its realted or not to the diet but it did get me thinking about eating and the role of food in our lives.  Im sure that nearly every overweight person would attest to emotional eating.  There is definitely a soothing effect.  So what do we do to address the emotional need?  On day 1, I went for a walk.  On day 2 I did some deep breathing exercises.  What do you do to address negative emotions?


Day 1 over…a New Day has Begun!

I’ll admit it: Day 1 was difficult.  I havent counted calories for a very long time so yesterday was a good wake up call.  Im unsure of how many calories I was consuming daily but my guess is that it was about 2200-2500 (which is great if youre a long distance runner… my running was confined to the sprint to the kitchen and back. LOL!).  Around 3pm, I felt like I might bite a colleague because I was so hungry.  Im not sure how to get past the hunger without being a total grump but hopefully, I’ll find coping mechanisms.  I bought a totally overpriced item online that might help (not an appetite suppressant b/c Im breastfeeding and I dont do that sort of thing) but rather some bulk fiber.  Hopefully that will help.  What I do have  going for me, though, is that I mostly make pretty good food choices (I am probably one of the few Americans that really eats 6 servings of veggies/fruits a day AND loves it!).  Now I just have to tackle portion control.  Last night I was dying for a second (and probably third) serving of brown rice but went for a walk instead.  What do you do to curb the hunger?

Post partum clean up!

Leila is nearly 6 months old and I haven’t lost any weight since 3 weeks post partum;  That’s pretty unfortunate.  Im still wearing my maternity clothes and Ive decided that breastfeeding is not the weight loss panacea that its made out to be.  I’ve also decided that I need to do something because Im no spring chicken and hence I will not bounce back into shape without enormous effort.  This is more like a slow dribble. 

So Im ready for this challenge!  I know that behavior change is a slow process so it wont work to just go cold turkey and eat only salads - thats waay too radical.  My strategy in these initial days is: drink lots of water and eat more fiber.  I’m sprinkling fiber into everything.  Also I told hubby: NO CHOCOLATE IN THE HOUSE.   I also am committed to doing a nightly walk or some form of physical exercise (I’m wondering if I should count in sex as physical exercise?  Maybe only if Im on top..LOL). 

So excuses begone!  This 40+ mamma is gonna get slimmer!